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Green Cats

by John Ralph

We have experienced the economic power of baby-boomers, single professionals and children with pocket money, but we are apparently about to see a new force in the consumer market: Green Cats.

I must have been out of the country when my cat was being educated in matters ecological. His food of preference is now greener than ever. Not food that has been left down for a while and ignored by both cat and human, but food in unopened tins long prior to the best- before date.

Cats are not only spending more on food, but are now becoming much more environmentally aware. It seems that our moggy can only bring himself to eat something that is part of a sustainable food chain and therefore reads each label with care; labels such as these from the Hi Life range.

Tuna Flakes with Skipjack: Hand prepared using only moist, fresh, oven- baked flakes of real tuna. As tuna is entirely natural its colour and texture may vary. Hi Life takes care that no marine mammals are endangered in the catching of this tuna.

He tells me that, after the preservation of small furry things, the endangerment of marine mammals is definitely a priority with him. The oven baking appeals to him too. Cooking style is a subject he will bore his cat friends with for hours. He quickly passed over the concept of real tuna. The idea of another kind was just too awful to contemplate.

Tropical Mackerel in Jelly: Whole Mackerel, caught by moonlight using traditional, time-honoured methods by local fishermen are chopped and set in a firm, clear jelly.

Even non-pedigree cats have generations of tradition behind them. It's very important to their sanity, even though it might be more of the cloth cap tradition than the silver food dish variety.

Moonlight plays its part in a cat's psyche too. It is true that this part often involves a great deal of yowling and attempts to either attract the opposite sex or repel cats of like gender.

However, as he eats this fish in the time- honoured manner, scattering bits around the kitchen, I like to think he reflects happily on his courting days, days prior to a completely different visit to the vet.

Chopped Sardines in Jelly: Whole fresh sardines, caught by moonlight using traditional, time-honoured methods by local fishermen are chopped and set in a firm, clear jelly.

He was a bit disappointed in this description. I think he felt it was a little overused. He definitely looked sideways at the mackerel after reading this. Why weren't they described as fresh, he wondered?

He is asleep in my chair at the moment, tail twitching, dreaming about country-fresh field-mice, captured painlessly whilst frolicking traditionally amidst acres of organically grown buttercups. By moonlight, of course.

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1998 John Ralph